Here are some simple techniques that you can use to achieve this end. This can be very useful if you are dealing with bullying medical staff or medical staff who do not believe you when your instinct tells you that you have a gluten allergy.
- First and foremost, if you’re in a situation where you’re required to present information, then absolutely know your facts inside-out and make sure you can justify and defend everything you say.
- Take time to anticipate what other people might respond with and make sure that you have an answer to each possibility.
- Use open questions to wrongfoot your opponents.
- If you react negatively to aggression, either by becoming aggressive yourself, or by going quiet, then find a way to get some help in responding in a different style to aggression.
- Have faith in yourself.
- Read inspirational teachings that will reinforce your faith in yourself and in the values that you are spouse.
Bullies tend to “wing it”, so if you have facts and information at your fingertips you’re more likely to be in a successful position to defend your position. Then you can quote reliable sources and express opinions you’ve solicited from respected individuals, and you can quote your sources – this all adds up to making a firm case and indeed is a form of dominant and assertive behavior in its own right. And that’s essential when you present your case about gluten allergy to a doctor.
By anticipating other people’s responses, you can be ready for whatever they say – and if you run through these situations in your mind with a kind of visualization exercise beforehand, you’re almost certain to be able to outwit anybody who hasn’t done such preparation. of course, sometimes relationships (business, professional, and social) fracture in such circumstances, so I offer this link to a site about relationship reconstruction!
How to be assertive
Also, preparing good questions you can use to explore the weaknesses in other people’s arguments is a very sensible technique to ensure that you remain in charge of what’s happening in any debate where people who might bully you are likely to be present.
Bullies are people who tend to be superficial, so if you ask constructive, incisive and probing questions, particularly if this will expose their lack of intellectual prowess or forethought, then you’re going to be the dominant one in this situation.
Good questions to ask in such a situation are “What is your evidence for this?” “Have you professional training that allows you to make that judgment?” “Have you considered the merits of the alternative, or have you even investigated the impact the alternative?” “You’re asking us to believe something that appears to be based only on your personal opinion. Can you justify what you’re saying with some objective evidence?” And another good one: “What can you tell me about how this solution is supposed to have worked in these situations?”
Sometimes a certain amount of assistance is required to get to the heart of the matter and expose the blustering foibles of someone who is ill-prepared and just trying to be dominant, like a doctor or nurse who does not believe what you are telling them about your gluten allergy.
Learning how to respond to bullying (rather than react – i.e. reacting emotionally) will always ensure that you have time to think things through and produce some substantive response. Even simply saying that you need a minute to consider what has been said is an adequate way of buying yourself time to think out your response. And you can always say “I’m not sure I agree with you, and I think it’s too important an issue to make a snap decision.”
There are plenty of ways of putting forward perfectly reasonable responses to bullying behavior that will buy you time and allow you to control the situation. Taking charge of the situation from a bully is going to undermine their weak confidence and self-assurance, and put you in the dominant position! (Remember that shouting just makes you look silly, and you need at all costs remain calm and balanced. A well organised defense will always be somebody having a tantrum!)